Turducken

There was a lot of support for a Christmas dinner centered around turducken. Our nephews are big fans of Cajun cooking if only because of advertisements for a marinade injecting tool called the Cajun Injector. How could we not take on this culinary challenge?

The process begins with trying to buy a fresh turkey, duck and chicken two days before Christmas. Thankfully there is Whole Foods Market – a store that has all three and asks only the question, “Would you like organic, super organic, or extra super organic?” In other words, how much would you like to spend on a turkey? There is no limit.

On the eve of Christmas Eve we start out with Ruth making traditional bread stuffing, cornbread and sausage stuffing and dirty rice stuffing. Doug is deboning the birds.

Lesson number one is to allow four hours in this process. I’m sure there are people in Louisiana who can knock these out in fifteen minutes, but if you have never done it before and have only instructions from the Internet to go by, plan on finishing around midnight.

Removing the bones is a bit of a Zen process. Every example seems only to say, “cut down the back then remove the bones.” Now we understand why. There is no good way to describe it. You just have to do it. Start with the chicken, ruin it, then move on. You’ll do better with the duck.

Lesson number two is don’t remove all the skin. You want to remove as much excess fat as possible, but most of the meat is connected only by the skin and you want one contiguous piece when you are done.

Here are some pictures of the assembly process:

The turkey topped with cornbread stuffing.

Add the duck topped with rice stuffing.

Add the chicken topped with bread stuffing.

Wrap  up the chicken in the duck.

Wrap the duck in the turkey.

From the front.

Flip it over and throw it in the oven.

Done! Let’s not forget what holiday this is.

Carved from the front.

Carved from the back.

You can see from the pictures that the turkey was a bit over-stuffed. The duck and stuffing were squishing out the back. There is a reason most recipes call for a 20 pound turkey. We used a 12 pounder mostly out of concern for the cooking time. Our turducken took 4:54 to complete at 325°F. A larger preperation can take up to 10 hours.

Also, we took it out of the oven when the internal temperature hit 165°F. That’s the safe temperature. The turkey was a little dry. Live on the edge and stop at 155°F – you’ll be much happier with it. Either way, the duck and chicken were outstanding.

One thing we did right was using duck skin to protect the turkey in place of aluminum foil. The fat renders out, thereby basting the bird. At about the four hour mark, you can remove the duck skin to allow the turkey skin to crisp-up. The duck skin also makes a nice treat for the cook.

The turducken has a lot of up-front work, but when it comes time to eat it couldn’t be easier. Without bones you can just hack straight through it and carve out multiple meats and stuffings in one go. And don’t underestimate the natural fascination with layered food we all have. Carving the turducken is a big event. We highly recommend the turducken.

Halloween 2009: Gigantic Floating Eyeballs

We gave out candy to 196 kids plus one father in a Rush concert shirt. A good night by anyone’s standard. And technologically, it was a thing of beauty.

I have to say that the start of the evening was looking grim. The wind had picked up. The whole rig was in danger of becoming a sail. My neighbor was still mocking me about the fantastic set of hooters I had constructed above the doorway. Then the sun went over the horizon and all was good.

The video screens lit up and the sound was turned on. It all just… worked. As if I had just gone out and bought the system at some yuppie Halloween superstore (something I was accused of several times).

The key thing here is, in fact, the sound. Yes the eyeballs have sound. No it doesn’t make any sense, but it’s just one of those things I’ve learned that everything must have a sound to have an identity. So I gave it a voice and you can hear it in the video below. The other thing I have learned is that there is no substitute for proper amplification. This year I employed the Roland KC-350 combo amp which made the house shake. It could be heard a block away. It made dogs howl.

Anyway, kids were truly mesmerized. I’m used to the parents wanting to take a second look, but children actually delayed their pursuit of sugar to stand and stare. There is no higher complement.

Thanks to all who dropped by. For those who couldn’t, this please enjoy the video. And don’t forget to turn the sound up.

Gigantic Floating Eyeballs, Part 4

Ruth was the first to suggest that the video screens looked like breasts. I didn’t see it, which is shocking, but I was focused on the end result and always had seen the screens with the image of an eye even when the projector is off. Now it is obvious: round and firm, yet supple with perfectly centered…

Enough of that. But the first thing my neighbor said when he saw them was “Going pornographic this year?” Now the pressure is really on. Even if I can get this thing to work, there is a chance that I will mistakenly crossover from scary to erotic.

One more thing to do: design and build the motion control system. I left this to the last minute since I work with software every day. The plan was to create a pseudo-random set of movements for the two pneumatic cylinders. Now I am out of time.

I was going to scrap the whole motion thing, but then it struck me that I don’t need software at all. Each input to the cylinders has their own speed control. If I just add a simple on/off timer, the cylinders can be set to move in and out at slightly different speeds, thus creating three dimensional motion. It looks like this:

I know… messy. But try to remember we are in panic mode. Time to put this thing up on the roof.

How to Assemble Your Gigantic Floating Eyeball Kit

Step 1: Place base (with lift mechanism) in desired location.

Step 2: Attach center bar (with mounted projector) to base.

Step 3: Attach video screen assembly to the front of bar.

Step 4: Attach mirror assembly to the rear of bar.

Step 5: Enjoy!